Dance Music

On Repeat: 8 Tracks I Wish Would Never End

August 3, 2015 — Leave a comment

Here’s a quick, down and dirty little playlist of some jams that I simply CAN’T stop grooving out to lately. In no particular order…

Claudja Barry – Love for the Sake of Love

Idriss Muhamad – Could Heaven Ever Be Like This

Fatima Yamaha – What’s A Girl to Do? 

Axel Boman – Mogadishu 

Shout – out to Snacks music for linking this one up for me!

Taro Tokugawa – Here My Dear

Steve Mason – Seen It All Before (Greg Wilson & Derek Kaye Remix) 

Slowknights – Candy Sugar Rush (Luxxury Edit) 

Greg Wilson Featuring The Reynolds ‘Summer Came My Way’ – Luxxury Club Mix

Nicolas Jaar hits the Dome: A note from the Door Bitch – Don’t F*CK About!

July 20, 2015 — 103 Comments

Alright – so it’s been announced and local social media is all a flutter with excitement, but given the fact that I expect THOUSANDS of you to come down this weekend and The Garten only has the capacity to allow entrance to so many of you – it means that, unfortunately, I am going to have to send a lot of you away. So here’s a few tips for making sure you don’t get your party snatched away from you for something stupid – consider it a friendly public service announcement from your favorite/most hated door bitch.

*DISCLAIMER*

This entire post is from my perspective only, and not in any way officially endorsed by The Garten and/or Uberhaus. 

1. Beat the queue and come early!

Last week, The Garten brought you Adriatique (who absolutely killed it btw), and for some silly reason most of you didn’t show up until 12:30 AM – meaning that a good deal of you spent around 1 hour or more queuing instead of chilling inside with a cool beverage waiting for Adriatique to take over the decks – or even worse, spending part of their set outside. Don’t do that. It’s dumb. Why would you want to spend all that time in a queue when you can be inside grooving? The Garten opens at 7pm, and this week they’ve booked a KILLER all-star line-up to keep you grooving until Nicolas Jaar does the thing. Come early!

2. Be over 21 – with a valid ID. No, really. 

I can’t stress this enough: If you’re under 21 – don’t bother coming. Just don’t. If you have an old ID with a baby picture on it – be prepared to be asked for a secondary form of identification. If I think your ID is fake or doesn’t belong to you – I will confiscate it and send you home STAT. Don’t waste my time pleading at the door, telling me you “got in with it last week” or that you had no idea you needed to bring an ID. This is not the first time I’ve heard you give me that excuse. I’m on to you like kale. Get it? Unless you’re new or living under a rock, you know that my reputation for being strict on the door precedes me. They don’t call me the “Door Nazi” for nothing. I don’t have time for your sh*t and neither do the polite people queuing behind you. I don’t take student IDs, photocopies, or international drivers’ licenses. And no, you CANNOT show me a picture of your ID on your phone. The Garten is going to be PACKED – which means I have to bounce a lot of you whether I like it or not, come prepared so you don’t have to be one of them. No ID. No Entry. Note: this excuse that you “can’t” carry your real ID with you incase you lose it is absolute BS – if you tell me that you’re renewing your ID with General Security or something, guess what? They totally give you an offical paper to carry around. There is no way that you don’t have a valid form of identification – so don’t even try. You guys already know I’m a beast – but I’m going to be EXTRA beastly this weekend. Not because I WANT to – but because I HAVE to. Do. Not. F*ck. About.

3. There is no guest list. I repeat – there is no guest list.

Listen, The Garten loves and appreciates its regulars, VIPs and non VIPs alike – but for the next few shows they have decided to forgo the permanent guest list for a limited time. In order to keep bringing you acts like Nicolas Jaar and Seth Troxler, they need the support of their nearest and dearest. This weekend, those who are usually on the VIP or Guest List can queue in the VIP lines as usual. You’ll still be expected to pay the ticket price, but your line will be much shorter, and you don’t have to deal with me in mega bitch mode. So really – it’s a bargain.

4. Do NOT ask me to make an exception. Not ‘just this once,’ and not ever.

Look guys, it’s a night club. I get that you all just want to party and enjoy the music, and you’re really, really sorry you didn’t bring the right ID, but if I could just fix it just this once you’ll be on point next week. Just stop with that already. I tell you kittens THE SAME thing every week. It’s a sad fact of life that you will not always get into the club – and you won’t if you don’t have a valid ID. I don’t care if you come every week and “USUALLY have your ID” and get in. I don’t care if you’re traveling tomorrow or that you came all the way from the North, etc. You could have swam all the way from Cyprus through a sea of hungry sharks, barely escaping with your life and your limbs, and I will still not care. No exceptions. None. Also – if I bounce you, don’t be cheeky and come through my line a second or a third time with a different or borrowed ID hoping I won’t remember you, and DEFINITELY don’t try going through the VIP or Table lines either. It’s annoying enough to bounce you once, don’t make me do it four times in a night.

5. It’s a night club – not a bachelor party. RESPECT THE RATIO! 

So every week I have the same problem: it’s after 2 am, and a group of 6 rowdy guys show up and get offended that I don’t want to let them in sans a lady. Yes – you’re absolutely right that it’s not part of The Garten’s official stated policy to come as couples, but that’s just kind of an unspoken rule for night clubs everywhere. How do I explain this delicately without offending anyone? This is honestly one of my TOUGHEST jobs as a bouncer. You see, a good party has an equal number of men and women. No night club worth it’s salt anywhere in the world would let you roll in with an entire rugby team – and if they did, you probably wouldn’t really want to party there (and neither would anyone else). It’s all about BALANCE and creating a vibe, so do me a solid and come co-ed. If you do happen to come as a group of four guys, expect to wait a bit until a group of guys leave or four girls enter. I’m not a complete jerk – I’m just doing my job and trying to maintain balance. Which brings me to my next point, if you DO have to wait a bit…

6. Good vibes only. (AKA Do not be aggressive. Ever.)

I get that some of you will have been in line for a long time and may get a bit cranky. I feel ya. But when you get to me, if you come off as even remotely aggressive, rude, impatient or full of sh*t – I am going to send you home. I don’t just check IDs – it’s partially my job to make sure that you all get along and have a nice, chill time once you’re inside. If you’re a dick at the door – I can safely presume you’re going to be a dick inside. You’re probably going to be rude to one of my bartenders, pissing him or her off enough that she gives bad service to some other dude who WASN’T a total prick to him/her. Or you’re going to say something dumb to someone that is not in the mood for your crap and you’re going to ruin both your nights. Got it? No one wants your bad vibes. So leave them at home or take them elsewhere – but do NOT bring that nonsense to The Garten. Side note: while The Garten doesn’t really have a stated dress code – try NOT to look like a self-absorbed jerk from a Jersey Shore episode. If you’re a dude, wear a shirt with SLEEVES, and maybe lay off the hair gel and gold chains a little. Ladies, maybe don’t come looking like Las Vegas just threw up on you. That really isn’t our style. That being said – The Garten is a really open and democratic place, I don’t really care if you “look” cool – I just care that you “are” cool – but there are limits ya know? Help a sista out.

7. Pre-Game responsibly.

Alright – I get it, drinks at the club can be a bit pricey. Mmmkay? So I can totally understand that you might have a few before coming down, but if you’re swaying and stumbling in the line, I’m not going to want to let you in. If you look like a complete sh*t show at the door, I’m guessing you’ll be even worse inside once you get a few more drinks in you. Keep it together. Thanks.

8. Name dropping is for suckers.

You know the owner? Oh really? So do I! But guess what? I don’t know you. But let’s just be honest here, I’m guessing you two aren’t so tight, because if you were you’d probably be in the VIP line and not in the walk-in line. So like really – don’t name drop. Just show me your ID like everyone else and pay to get in. If I have a reason to bounce you – don’t throw out someone’s name and expect it to make the slightest difference to me whatsoever. People who name drop are USUALLY full of sh*t. And for those of you ballsy enough to demand that I call the owner or the manager so you can have a word with him – hahahahaha. I’m not your secretary. Call him your damned self. Oh, you don’t have his number? Big surprise. Bounced. NOTE: If you do happen to know someone inside who can help you out – make a phone call. If you’re legit – it WILL be sorted. Whether you guys believe me or not – I actually DO NOT get off on this job, and I don’t have some huge ego (especially after reading some of these lovely comments). I’m just a bit jaded from hearing the exact same story from several HUNDRED people a night…how am I supposed to know if you’re the ONE guy who is actually not just bullsh*tting me?

9. One ticket – one entry. Full stop. 

In previous seasons, The Garten did allow you to get a stamp before leaving to guarantee your re-entry. They have discontinued this policy this year. Once you’re in, you’re in. No, do not complain to me about how this is not a normal policy for a club, because actually, it’s a pretty standard policy all over the world. If you need to leave for some reason and you don’t have a wrist band, you will be expected to pay the entry price again. No, I don’t remember your face. No, I don’t remember already IDing you. Unless you have some proof that you were already inside, I’m going to assume that you weren’t. Plan ahead. Please don’t bother me at the door with some ridiculously long story about how you need to pick up your little sister or take someone to the airport. I’m busy. Plan to be in it for the long haul, or plan to deal with the consequences.

10. Gear up, and get ready to boogie! Nicolas Jaar Mother F*ckers! 

Let’s do this, Beirut. It’s going to be a beautiful weekend! See you under the dome at sunrise! Check the event listing here.

This Week in Beirut! A Down & Dirty Preview

June 10, 2015 — Leave a comment

Oh man. Beirut? You’re killing me!

Here’s a quick recap of all the sweetness happening around town this week. At this rate – we are probably not going to survive the summer.

Tonight: Audio Kultur presents CHYNO’s Album Launch Party: Making Music to Feel at Home

We talked about this one last week – so simply scroll down for more info or check the event link here, but the long and the short of it is that Poly, Ingrid, Imad Jawad and a bunch of other banging locals will be teaming up at BO18 to help celebrate one of our own – the one and only CHYNO. I’ll see you all there.

Friday, June 12th. 

Okay, Friday is going to be a killer boys and girls. Here’s why:

Electric Sundown Presents Audiofly (Supernature – Barcelona) 

Once again, the team behind the killer and chill Electric Sundown beach parties at Iris Beach Club are bringing back Audiofly. Have a gander at his soundcloud page to get an idea of what’s in store, or just click play below. Get there early!

Decks On the Beach Presents Grades

From the event page: “Hailing from South London, this kid is famous for flowing between genres and tempos, easily mixing huge radio-friendly hooks with elements of classic and contemporary house.’ You probably have heard his lip-smacking remix of Lana Del Rey’s ‘WEST COAST’ , if not his other bangin’ remixes for Hot Natured’s ‘BENEDICTION’ and Aaliyah’s “Rock your Boat.” Opening set by MAFT”

To get a feel for it, here’s a little minimix of his releases – this will be a happy dance party for sure:

Sista Selecta (AKA Tara Jane) at Garden State

Okay, so I’m not really a DJ – but I do play music every now and again, and sometimes people even like it! I’ll be doing that this Friday night at the chill, outdoor venue Garden State. Expect some tasty chill vocal house and funky and tropical disco jams. So if you can’t make it out to Iris, this wouldn’t be a bad way to warm up your evening before we all head over to Decks.

Here’s a little flavor of what I’ll be throwing down: https://soundcloud.com/jamesrod/metropolis-every-time-i-see-james-rod-cosmic-soul-editlow-qualiy

Here’s a link to their Facebook page for location info: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009804035109&fref=ts

Saturday, June 13

Sixth Sense Productions Present A Brunch Affair at Beirut’s Alleyway

So, if you can manage to wake up early enough – maybe nurse that hangover with a nice strawberry infused glass of champagne for the official opening party of A Brunch Affair – held in the chilled out, umbrella shaded outdoor Alleyway in Gemmayzeh. None other than Rabih Salloum (Formerly of Slutterhouse) will be on deck to provide the musical vibes – and I’ll be appearing next Saturday to do the same. I checked this place out last week during their soft opening, and I’m pretty sure this will become a regular Saturday routine for me, and you should probably get on that action as well. Nom Nom. BRUNCH!

Here’s all the info: https://www.facebook.com/events/683347388435911/

Radio Beirut and Colonel Beer Present The Shoreline Sessions in Batroun

I’m REALLY happy to be announcing this one, since it’s being put on by my very own Radio Beirut family (Check out my streaming radio show every Saturday at http://www.radiobeirut.net). This week, I skip the show because the whole crew will be taking the party to Colonel’s brewery in Batroun. So head out of town and get some very chill Arabic flavor with Acid Arab (France), Maurice Louca (Egypt) and our very own Aziza (Lebanon). Very happy to see this line-up, the founder of Acid Arab’s label, Versatile Records (Gilb’R), was actually a guest on my show a while back, so I’m really proud to be supporting these guys and this event – and Maurice Louca is really one of the most interesting acts to be coming out of the region lately. This one should be beautiful boys and girls – don’t miss it!

Event listing here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1445391879094659/

Check out Acid Arab’s sounds here:

A little from Maurice Louca:

The Garten Presents Sonja Moonear

This week, The Garten goes to the moon by bringing the hard to categorize Sonja Moonear (Geneva) to our iconic dome. Her sets reflect an enormous wealth of ideas and creativity and lead her to perpetually redefine her style. Her musical background, eclectic tastes and enviable record collection have made Miss Moonear a much sought-after DJ. Technophile and Ali Ajami will be warming up and closing down the decks for this babe, and of course you’ll see me at the door generally being a c*nt to kids with fake IDs and keeping the douchebags at bay so you all inside can enjoy your evening at one of Beirut’s most exciting outdoor nightclubs.

Check the event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1608194732731440/

Check out one of her sets for Fabric here:

Sunday, June 14th

Station Beirut Presents Chromatic Sunset

For those of you still standing and not recouping on a beach somewhere, check out Station Beirut‘s chilled out and large rooftop for a light sunday affair with food and drinks and Hear (AKA Sary Sehnaoui out of Berlin) on the decks, supported by an up-and-coming local that goes by the name of Priss.

Here’s the event link: https://www.facebook.com/events/842548932477103/

Here’s a Hear preview here:

Now playing: It’s All by James Rod (Out Now on Rare Wiri)

June 2, 2015 — Leave a comment

So this guy, James Rod (AKA Jaime Rodriguez) out of Spain is one of my favorite producers and co-founder of the SPA-IN-DISCO outfit, and he regularly throws out some pretty heavy tracks that make dance floors (and DJs) very, very, happy. You can find his releases on all my favorite disco/dance labels (Nang, Midnight Riot, Spirit Soul, Hot Digits, etc), and his newest release out on Rare Wiri (headed up by the one and only Rayko) doesn’t disappoint. My favorite of the three track EP is probably the James Rod and Fran Deeper remix version of the original edit of “It’s All” – featuring a nice, meaty, deep, and spacey disco house vibe that I’ll be happily spinning around town this month.

Listen to a low-quality preview of that track here: 

Get the whole release here: http://www.junodownload.com/products/james-rod-its-all/2797632-02/

On Repeat: GoldBoy EP Out JUNE 8 on Juno Download

June 2, 2015 — Leave a comment

ISM Records has done it again, folks.

The sister label of the disco/nu-disco champs, Midnight Riot Records, recently dropped this gem of an EP by GoldBoy – AKA George Summers out of Bristol, UK.

Here’s the JUNO review: “Having previously released on sister label Midnight Riot, Bristol-based nu-disco sort Goldboy is given a chance to play his wares on ISM. He duly delivers a trio of original productions, from the spacey chords, woozy grooves and rich bass of “Stomach Funk”, to the bold, Rhodes-laden deep house disco throb of “Demolish Disco”, via the breezy, late night goodness of “Thru The Nite”. Each track is accompanied by a suitably solid remix, with Ex Friendy’s dense, post-punk influenced dub disco remake of “Demolish Disco” standing head and shoulders above the rest. That said, BG Baarregaard’s deliciously Balearic revision of “Stomach Funk” is pretty darn tasty.”

I don’t think I could say it any better. And really, that Demolish Disco remix is pretty D.O.P.E. I would probably have that track’s babies if I could.

Peep the release here: http://www.junodownload.com/products/goldboy-ep/2782126-02/